I know it seems like I always talk a lot about cakes. The reason why I probably do this is because they’re treats, it’s not something I have on a daily basis, or indeed a weekly basis. They’re just that, treats, although admittedly I do try to find an excuse to indulge myself. For the most part, I try to eat properly. For breakfast 6 mornings a week, I eat fruit and nuts. That’s 3 pieces of fruit for the vitamins and a handful of monkey nuts for the protein. It’s especially good if I have a booking at lunchtime and I don’t get to eat and have to wait until around 3 or 4pm when I get home to have a quick snack before dinnner. It’s also very handy when on tour and I don’t need to buy much for breakfast. The nuts are cheap, full of protein as I said and a breakfast like that can keep me going for hours.

On the days when I’m home for lunch, I eat wholemeal bread. I switched from white bread a couple of years ago but I still treat (there’s that word again) myself on a Sunday when I have a bit of a fry-up. But most days of the week it’s brown bread.

Why am I rambling on about my dietary intake I hear you ask? Well, I have a bit of a beef with the food manufacturers and it’s ticking me off when a person like me is trying their best to eat properly on their shopping budget and they’re moving the goalposts. Ever since the recession, I’ve noticed some goods I’ve either bought in the past or buy regularly have gradually shrunken in size, but the price has stayed the same. I first noticed it with Shloer. The bottles are a lot smaller than they used to be, but the price hasn’t shifted. I had a quick moan to myself about it, but not too much as it’s only something I buy for the holidays when my progeny want to play at being grown-ups because it looks a bit like wine. But not just the Shloer. I also make a mean Thai Prawn Curry sometimes and I’ve noticed the Sharwoods Pad Thai noodles I use have somewhat shrunk in content, to the point that I’ve had to buy extra to feed the same mouths.

The last straw was when I was doing my bi-weekly shopping at Tesco’s last Thursday. I went to pick up a bag of monkey nuts and they’ve been reduced in size but not price. This is what they used to look like at 400g. They’ve now been reduced to 250g, but they’re still £1.50. I’m like, “what the hell?”

And I know it’s not me going crazy. I remember reading an article in the New York Times on the Kindle a few months ago, about manufacturers downsizing food and still charging the same…..aha! I’ve just had a look and found the article in question here. My question is, does nobody else notice this happening here in the UK? Whilst on one hand it’s great when we get BOGOFs (Buy One, Get One Free if you’re not in the UK) and other offers , but when it’s something you buy on a regular basis, it hardly compensates.

According to the article this is something that happens every recession, but nobody says anything. Why? Why is this allowed to happen? And when you read/hear reports that it’s actually more economically sound to buy processed and junk food as opposed to fresh and organic food, the ordinary family shopper doesn’t stand a chance to eat healthily, do they? I bought a punnet of peaches on Thursday, by Saturday they’d all gone off, all five in the punnet, and had to be binned.

In the meantime I’m hoping the same shrinking affliction doesn’t hit the monkey nuts sold in Sainsbury’s. Until it does it looks like I’ll be buying them from there. Thank goodness I’ve got a choice of the two supermarkets near me.

I tried to set-up an appointment for today which, for one reason or another, didn’t come to fruition. Initial communication was by email and he text me later on in the morning, which I really don’t like to do anyway unless you’re a client I’ve seen before but this chap was quite apologetic for not being able to call and was also quite polite. I had sent him a response to which he had taken time to reply.
He text back and apologised for the delay in replying. He was basically wanking over my pictures, then proceeded to ask me if I “did phone sex, ‘cos I could go again”. Bleurgh!

I know to some of you, you’d consider this a bit strange, given my line of work. But that’s the operative word, “work”. As much as I love it (and honestly I do, otherwise I wouldn’t have been in it for so long), it’s still work. Just as you don’t think about work 24hrs a day, neither do I. In today’s case I was just jumping into the car to go and pick up a bit of shopping from Tesco’s for dinner tonight. Why is it so hard for guys to believe that even with our jobs, we don’t think and act it our escort personas 24hrs a day? I’m not Kinky 24/7, neither am I horny all day. And I certainly don’t want to know when a bloke’s having a wank/pulling his tugboat/spanking his monkey – delete as applicable. Especially if I didn’t ask to know.

It’s like the chappy who recently set up an appointment for two weeks hence, then proceeded to send me pictures of his dick, asking me if I liked it and could I wait. Why do blokes think that’s what I’d want to see prior to a booking? Am I not going to see it soon enough? It hardly gets me in the mood on the 15.33 in to Victoria.
I mean, think about it. How many willys do you think I might have seen in over nine years in this illustrious occupation? No disrespect but, apart from them being of various shades of skin tone and different sizes, a willy’s pretty much a willy. I have seen one before. Needless to say the appointment was cancelled.

I’m fully aware that wanking over my pics does happen, and I have no problems with that, given the nature of them I’d be rather naive if I thought it didn’t happen. I’d just rather not be told when you do. Just like I don’t randomly text somebody in my phone and tell them I’m masturbating. Why would I and why would I think they’d want to know?

Maybe he thought I’d be flattered, which would explain why he felt the need to tell me. I dunno, I reckon it’s the Venus and Mars thing.

Well, I hope everybody’s plans are coming together for a wonderful Christmas and all you last-minute types got everything done.
Me? Well, would you believe when I did the food shopping yesterday morning I had forgotten to get dinner for tonight, so when I came back from my outcall last night I made a quick stop in Tesco’s, which, thank God, is open 24hrs. This is what happens when I shop at 7.30am, some of my faculties are still forming themselves.

When I got home at 11.30pm I was hungry, having had no dinner, so I made myself a grand meal of…..a bowl of museli and a chicken sandwich. You know the age thing that creeps up on you where it becomes less and less easier to digest a full dinner so late in the evening? I had to bear that in mind.
So of course I woke up hungry this morning, had my usual fruit for breakfast but I did go a little crazy at lunch-time. And as is usual for me, feeling furry around the eyes this morning because I didn’t go to sleep ’til gone 1.30am, waiting for the food to digest. Oh what a sexy life I lead, eh?

It remains for me to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah(sp), Happy Kwaanza and all that to those who celebrate differently around the world at this time of year. And have a happy new year or happy Hogmany if you’re in Scotland.

I’ll only be available for a couple of days next week, inbetween Christmas and New Year, remember I have my uncle’s funeral in the West Indies to attend on the 1st and what with that, my Other Job and training days at my Other Job, I won’t be available until January 13th.

Thanks to all the wonderful clients I have met this year, old and new. Thanks to my regular clients for staying my regular clients. And here’s to meeting some wonderful people next year.
Happy Holidays all.xx

How’s everybody’s christmas preparations coming along? Me? Well, it’s all been a bit last minute. For some reason I’m just not feeling it this year. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because we didn’t get a tree this year and I never really got the impetus to get the rest of the decorations out. Also with my uncle’s funeral coming up I don’t feel in any sort of a celebratory mood.

At least I had a wonderful booking yesterday. I had a chap who has “followed” me for a few years now, from my last incarnation as Brandy to this one as Kinky. He was flying into Gatwick from Denmark so I had my breath held until he actually called from Victoria Stn. What with this weather I’m taking nothing for granted. If you’re in the UK you know what the airports have been like these past few days. Anyway, he arrived on time, he says his fantasies have now been realised and I enjoyed making his fantasies into reality. Happy man sent away to enjoy the rest of his holiday in the UK.

I have an outcall to Central London this evening at 8pm. It’s going to be some fantasy roleplay with me being the naughty secretary. I’ll have to make sure and bring my tight skirt, tight blouse, high heels and push-up bra to make sure I leave this gentleman with a smile on his face. I think I’ll ask him to put on one of his work suits, add to the fantasy.

I was going to work for half the day tomorrow, Christmas Eve, but with this appointment not finishing until 10pm and not getting home until well after 11pm, I’m not sure if I’ll be in any fit state tomorrow to entertain any other gentlemen. Plus I was up and in Tesco’s at 7.30 this morning doing a bit of last minute shopping before the masses arrived. I’ve already adjusted my diary.

I have one outcall next Wednesday so if anybody would like to make a booty before New Year’s Eve, drop me a line or give me a call (bearing in mind the phone will be off for those few days at Christmas.)

I don’t know if the long-time readers of my blog remember me having a moan about snowed in clients wanting me to come out to them the last time we had weather like this back in January/February.
Well, the phone’s been ringing again with such gents again. I got the impression in a couple of cases that they had decided to take the day off work after deciding not to go in because of the snow, so have decided that to relieve their boredom they’d like an escort to come visit them. I’ve had to gently remind them that if they’re snowed and can’t get to work because of lack of transportation, then how would they expect me to reach them? I’ve yet to hear an answer that doesn’t tail off in a mumble because of lack of a suitable response.

I’m unsure as to whether I’m supposed to possess some sort of superpower where I’m either able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, websling my way from building to building, or if I should just go the old-fashioned way and dust off my invisible jet and fly over to Essex (in one phone call) in that. With it being invisible I could hide it from client’s nosey neighbours and still remain discreet.
And as predicted I’ve also had a couple of calls this week asking if I’m in Jersey. Well, apart from the fact that you left it a tad bit late matey, Gatwick Airport has been closed for the past couple of days, with major disruptions at other airports. It would’ve had to have been a bit of a miracle to get there. Blimey, thinking about it, that worked out well didn’t it? I was supposed to have flown out yesterday.
No, I’ve had a good few days off studying, reading and watching mindless telly. I haven’t seen the point of not going anywhere unless I had to. I also got a couple of requests for incalls at Victoria. But again, I would still have to leave home to get there and did anybody see the chaos at Victoria Stn on Tuesday? Yeah, I don’t think so.

Since the nightmare of the school pick-up on Tuesday I’ve made one other trip out to go food shopping and I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have to. And even then I went to Sainsbury’s instead my usual Tesco’s because Tesco’s car park was underground, which meant going up and down a steep incline. I tried going up a steep incline on ice once before, it didn’t work. Sainsbury’s car park is outside on nice flat ground.

Since then I’ve been ensconsed in my house under my duvet and nothing else is getting me out from underneath it. Well, until tomorrow when I do have a booking at Victoria. Fingers crossed that comes to fruition. It’ll be a bit warmer then and things should start melting. At the moment it’s -5deg where I am. How’re you all coping?

The snow has finally reached London today, after days of my chuckling at all the other parts of the UK that’s been caught up in this adverse weather. It didn’t look too bad first thing this morning, I sent my progeny off to school thinking this is as bad as it was going to get. I then got ready to go to my Other Job and I couldn’t believe how much snow had accumulated by 9.30am. I thought okay, let’s just pop into Tesco’s for a few bits and pieces and we’ll see if I can make it to my Other Job. The short answer to that was no. I called and informed my office manager that I wouldn’t be coming in.

But instead of going back home and not realising that the snow was not going to cease anytime soon, I thought I’d go and pick up said offspring from school because I could see the grief and hassle that would ensue should they try to make it home by themselves later on in the afternoon. What absolute hell!

On the way there it took me about an hour to cover a 15min journey. The car slid a few times and it was a miracle that when I lost control of the car and it did a major slide to the kerb there were no cars parked. That was scary. Then after I picked up said offspring, I couldn’t get back up the hill, so we had to find an alternative route back home, which took me nearly two hours. Bearing in mind this is normally a fifteen minute journey. I had to make sure the roads I took didn’t have any steep inclines and I don’t think I came out of 2nd gear all the way home. I sent a few prayers to Jesus/Allah/Buddha or whichever diety that might’ve been listening to get us home in one piece and I don’t think I unclenched my buttocks until we were safely parked outside the house. After letting go of the dashboard, car door handles and any other solid implements they could grip on to, said offspring says, thanks mum, but next time we’ll take our chances walking. We’ll be safer. I’m inclined to agree.

I consider myself very lucky that someone was indeed watching over us, because during my sojourn out into the snow we passed a few ambulances, a couple of recovery trucks with pranged cars and other vehicles that were either broken down or stuck because they couldn’t get up any inclines either. Other cars in front of me were skidding all over the roads as well and I made sure to keep my distance. Just catching up with the local news and it seems my part of London, along with the Kent/Essex borders was worst hit in the capital.

I always had my reservations about driving in the snow and I just thought I was being overly cautious. But if I can help it, I’m never going out when it snows again. At least, not in the car, like my progeny I’d rather take my chances and walk. And with this inclement climate, I’ll be suprised if we don’t see more snow before the end of this winter.

….and get a new laptop. Which I find hard to believe I had to do considering the previous one only lasted a couple of years.

If you’ve been paying close attention you’ll remember I alluded to having laptop problems after I finally got my broadband connection sorted out. My keyboard and touchpad stopped working a couple of weeks ago and my IT guy lent me an external keyboard so I could get my essay written. I left my laptop with him this week to see if he could sort the problems out for me. The touchpad still doesn’t work but the keyboard does, although he’s not sure how long that would last. So rather than spend more money trying to fix the old laptop I just went out and bought a new one. I would rather buy a brand new one than throw money after an old one that still had software problems; the touchpad never did work properly, I couldn’t use my old Office 2000 and I couldn’t install certain applications, like the software from my Nokia phone. I also couldn’t open jpeg attachments. After I paid £50 to get the broadband connection sorted out, I wasn’t going to throw more money at it and be without a proper laptop for goodness knows how long while it was getting fixed. Now more than ever I need a laptop for my coursework.

I’ve stuck with the devil I know and I’ve bought another Dell. The previous one was a Compaq, which I won’t be buying again. Them or their sister brand Hewlett Packard. Do you remember the problem I had with the intermittent charging of my battery and I had to threaten to take PC World to court because they wouldn’t accept responsibility? Even though it was within the time of the warranty? Nah, I’m better off without it. I had since looked up any info on-line and I found a techy forum which said that Compaq laptops where renowned for batteries which didn’t charge properly.

I promised myself that after the way PC World behaved with the battery I wouldn’t buy from them again, so I’ve bought this Dell from Tesco’s. I’ve never bought an electrical item from a supermarket before, much less a laptop. But after extensive research I’ve found that Tesco’s were selling the 1545 with a dual core processer for £399, while Dell’s own website had it for £449. Plus I took advantage of their promotion and doubled up my Tesco clubcard vouchers and got an extra £40 off. Tell you what, these clubcard vouchers really come in handy. Remember I had used them previously to get money off my course?

Hopefully now all my computer problems are resolved and I can just get on with things. Wish me luck.

Doing the shopping this morning, going all the way through the checkout, bagging my groceries, collecting my points, opening my wallet, only to find that I have the grand total of £5 in it. I realised to my embarrassment that I had left the shopping money at home. The cashier saved my trolley for me and left it at customer services while I rushed home to get my money.

When I got back I made a point of going back to see the cashier who served me and thank her for saving my trolley. I didn’t want her thinking that I was some kind of reprobate who loved shopping with no money in my wallet.

That’ll teach me not to run around like a headless chicken in the mornings.

Except it wasn’t the bag, it was the bloomin’ wallet. I had forgotten I’d bought the wallet at the same time I bought my bag, but because the wallet was inside the bag I didn’t think it could be that.

I was in my local shopping centre again this morning and sure enough, I was beeped as soon as I walked into Marks. I thought, okay, enough is enough, as much as I like the bag I’m not going through with this for the next how ever many years. I was finding myself actually tensing every time I walked into a shop.

When I got home I called Fossil, where I bought both the bag and the wallet and explained that I keep setting off the security scanners in shops. The kind lady explained that I may still have tags on them. It doesn’t have to be a big tag, she explained, it can be a small rectangular tag. I searched and searched. I couldn’t find anything on my bag, but hey presto, there was a small tag inside my wallet. I ripped it out and did a small jig of happiness.

No more bleeping wallets, no more bleeping bags…well, we’ll see on Thursday when I go to Tesco’s to do my weekly shopping.

Tell you what though. I didn’t bleep with every shop I went into, Sainsbury’s being one of them. Makes you think, doesn’t it?