Because you’re really missing the boat here.
On Wednesday evening I had a two hour outcall to Heathrow Airport. It took me two hours to get there and two hours to get back. I didn’t want to take the car because anybody living in London knows what the M25 is like during rush hour. At any other time it takes approx. 90mins to get there anyway, so I thought I’d let the train take the strain and just read my Kindle on the journey.

But living on the other side of London, it can and it turned out to be a monumental journey. I emailed the client just before I left at 5.30. “I’m aiming to get there around 7pm”, I says. Who knew I was being optomistic? Somebody Up There must’ve been laughing at me and thinking, “that’s what she thinks.” The first hurdle was when I disembarked at Victoria to jump on the Victoria line, only to forget that between 4pm and 8pm the main entrance to the underground is closed due to the ongoing refurb of the underground system, so the staff had the rush hour foot traffic squeeze through another entrance that’s mainly used to exit the underground. That was fun, it was like squeezing marshmallows through a straw. Then the escalators to the Victoria line was shut, so the herd of foot-traffic was re-routed to another entrance. I decided instead to jump on the District line and change for the Piccadilly line at South Kensington. Then came (after a 10min wait for the tube) the near 40min journey on said Picadilly line to Terminal 5. I got to Heathrow at just on 7.30pm. Thank goodness I was able to keep in touch with my client to let him know that it would more likely be 7.30pm before I saw him and thank goodness he was cool about it and flexible with his schedule.

I know I keep saying this about my clients but he turned out to be a lovely (and gorgeous) gentleman and it was well worth the journey. But somebody out there’s missing the boat on building some sort of (direct) link between South London and Heathrow. Or at least Gatwick (my nearest airport, and Heathrow). On my recent jaunt to Vienna, the only flights were out of Heathrow, so sometimes I don’t have a choice. I don’t know if there are any plans, but if so, please build a line chaps. I reckon you’d make your money back in no time.

Thank God there are some of you out there. I had a booking last night with a gentleman who’s been trying to make a booking with me for three years!! Three years!!

The first time he wrote to me was April 2007, when I went to New York on tour. The second time he wrote to me, a few months later, I was already booked for the time he wanted.

Then lo and behold, last week I hear from the gentleman out of the blue and unbelievably I was free on one of the days he was in London on business. We got a date in quick before something threw a spanner in the works.

A very happy chappy who laughed a lot, which was a bit infectious, you couldn’t help but laugh along with him. Our booking was in one of the Premier Inns in South London and we had a bit of a giggle over one of their notices that was stuck to the bathroom mirror: “Forgotten something” it said, with a picture of soaps, shoe polish, needle and thread…. and condoms.  Now that’s what I call keeping it real. We all have our needs, don’t we?

A good appointment and a good giggle. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take another three years to meet again,lol.

This was the crux of a conversation I had this morning. Gentleman wanted to pay me £100 instead of my already low fee of £140. And guess where this vast and distant town this gentleman was travelling from? Bromley in Kent.

For those not familiar with the geography of South London; if you take the express train from Bromley South, it’s 17 minutes to Victoria, the slow train takes a grand total of, wait for it….26mins.

And to rub salt into my already festering wound, it wasn’t as if there was any hardship on his part. No “I’ve just lost my job”, no “things are hard and I just wanted to cheer myself up”. Indeed, we were just discussing  what time would suit the gentleman most as he had to be at work for 4pm. No, after I politely declined making an appointment with him he said, but I do have the full £140, can I still see you?!!

So, no hardship, he was just cheap. How he expected me to provide a full and stellar service after that carry on I’m not sure. You never quite look at someone who thinks you’re cheaper than your price tag, in quite the same light again.