Kinky La Rue

Whilst I  was at the flat waiting for what turned out to be a truly scrumptious encounter this past Wednesday, I received a phone call. This is how it went:

Gentleman: Hi, I’m just looking at your website now.

Me: Thank you. What can I do for you?

Gent: I want to make you an offer.

Me (interest piqued): Oh yes?!

Gent: I want you to take you to Dubai. First class plane ticket, five star hotel, the best of everything. I treat you well.

Me: Oh, that sounds lovely.

And it theory it does. It sounds like somebody wanting to jetset me off to a lovely place, all expenses paid for. But think about it from my point of view. I’ve never met the gentleman caller before, so I have no idea what he’s like. And if anybody knows anything about Dubai, then you’ll know that prostitution is very much frowned upon, to the point of imprisonment, so that’s where the reticence comes in. Did anybody read about the woman who was thrown in jail after reporting a rape? Or that couple from a couple of years back who were also thrown in prison for having sex on the beach? No ta.

I didn’t want to sound like a wet blanket so I did later on explain to the gentleman caller that I’m afraid that I didn’t go to such far away places with people I haven’t met before. But he was welcome to make a couple of bookings for whatever duration here in London first (he was calling from a London number) so we could at least get to know each other and maybe he could change my mind. He hasn’t called back. Maybe because he couldn’t understand why an escort would turn him and his generous offer down and so moved on to another lady, which is his perogative.

If I was doing this 20yrs ago and I was a young whippersnapper with no responsibilities, then maybe. But now? Nah! Now, if it was a weekend away at a spa of my choice in the UK with a truly lovely gent and all the treatments I could think of, then you’re talking my language.

I don’t want much do I?

I had a no-show this past Saturday. To be fair on the guy it didn’t seem intentional.

This was a (would-be) customer from Slovenia who had come to London for the first time and didn’t quite seem to realise how big or busy London is.

He’d contacted me initially back at the end of last year to let me know that he’d be coming to London either January or February and enquired about my availability.

He then contacted me again last week to say that he’d be in London  this week (last week) and if we could set up an appointment. We made a date for the Friday (19th) at 3pm, to confirm, as I always get my clients to do, in the morning by 10am.

10am came and went and the gentleman didn’t confirm. That’s okay, that’s escort life. I can now rearrange my day.

Much later on in the evening I received an email from the gentleman apologising profusely and said that he was in London first and foremost for business (which he neglected to inform me of, I thought he was here on holiday) and that the day had completely gotten away from him and this was his first chance at contacting me. He even tried to call as well just before 10pm but I missed it. I saw his email about 10.30pm and I responded to it, saying not to worry and these things happen. I mentioned that I’d be free on Saturday and to give me a call if he was still interested, which he said as much in his email.

Although it turned out he didn’t see my email the gentleman called again the next morning (Saturday) from the Science Museum, apologising profusely again and asking if there was any way that he could see me, “as my visit to London wouldn’t be complete until I do”. I had nothing booked in for the Saturday so I thought why not, and we arranged the time of 3pm.

So when the time came I got ready and went and caught the train to the flat in Victoria. Changed into my lingerie, stockings, sussies etc., put my contacts in, put on a bit of lip gloss and sat and waited for the gentleman to turn up.

At bang on 3pm I received a text telling me that he was still at Madam Tussaud’s. He had waited in line for two hours and didn’t realise it was going to be so busy. He went on to say how terribly sorry he was and that I must hate him yada yada yada. London is just too big, he said. I’m sorry for any problems I put you through.

I think I just gave a big sigh after I’d read his message. I text him back and said, “You can only say sorry once. The 2nd time means nothing.”  Then I got changed again and went home.

I understood it was the gentleman’s first time in London, so he was guilty of nothing but bad time management, trying to fit too many things in one day. Whilst I understand all this, I still felt like a bit of a doughnut sitting on the bed dressed to kill. The gent said he was here until today (Monday). The Science Museum and Madame Tussaud’s would’ve been open yesterday too.

I do hope the gentleman understands that should her ever come back to the UK this (London) bridge is well and truly burnt.

Well, everything’s booked and I’ll be staying in one of my favourite cities on the 13th August through to the 16th. That’s  from Thursday to Sunday morning. I’ve already written to a couple of my favourite clients up there and they’re happy to know I’ll be paying the North a visit again, even though I was in two minds about visiting again. I might even give the Arndale Shopping Centre a miss this time and go and visit the Trafford Centre, maybe even do a tour of Old Trafford, who knows. Work has always prevented me before.

I lowered my London prices by a tenner when I was there last December, which went down very well with the cost-conscious. I reckon I’ll do the same again. After all, it’s cheaper touring up north than it is down south. And I’m quite chuffed that I found a website selling cut price train tickets from London Euston to Manchester Piccadilly. It does help booking well in advance.

And talk about booking in advance, I just missed a corker there. I booked my usual hotel about a week before the new footie fixtures were published. I took another look and they’ve added an extra £40 for the Saturday night. I totally forgot that the new season starts on the 15th August with the Charity Shield.  Lucky or wot! I don’t even know how busy the Saturday would be up in Manc., but I’ve never stayed the weekend before and I thought it might be a nice change. I’m just glad I’m an early bird that caught the worm.

And I wonder if I’ll see that gent that was kind enough to feed me tea and sandwiches after my long  journey up from London last time in December. What a thoughtful thing to do. And it was very much appreciated as I literally was cold and hungry when I got to Manc.

Anyway, Manchester in August it is. If there are any lovely northern gents that won’t be going away on holiday and would love a bit of slap and tickle with this early bird, do drop me a line or give me a call.

I’m very much looking forward to it.xx

His name and this entry posted with permission.

It’s a good thing I’m not the sensitive type and took it personally. We were having a bit of a cuddle afterwards and I could feel his body relax and the snoring was *ahem* unmistakable.

When I gently chastised Michael for falling asleep on me, twice, guess what he said? “I wasn’t asleep, I was thinking heavily”. Luckily for him I found that funny.

I did feel slightly guilty when he told me that he’d been up since 3.30 this morning making the trek down to London from Newcastle to see his team Liverpool play West Ham at Upton Park. They won 3-0 so it must’ve been a good day and worth the early morning. He’s now making his way slowly back to Newcastle.

Thanks for squeezing me into your day today and thank you for the fudge. Have a safe trip back home.

…..I would love to hear from you for some advice on where to stay. Either that or anybody that has stayed in the LA area before.

My flights and hotel accommodation are already booked for my tour in April, but it’s been one of those lazy net-surfing days and I’ve found a great deal at one of the hotels in the downtown area. It costs less than where I’m already booked, and it’s half the price of booking through their own website. Without giving too much away, it’s a big, gorgeous, very posh-looking hotel in the downtown area as I say. By its surrounding description it has easy access to the freeways which I know is very important as everybody drives in Los Angeles.

I’m really really tempted to book it, it’s absolutely gawwwjuss! I thought it was beyond my budget until I found the hotel on Netflights.com. What I like most about it, apart from it looking wonderful, is that it’s massive, allowing for discretion and anonymity.  My original hotel is nowhere near as big.

My question to Los Angelians is, what is the parking like in the downtown area? Is it crap like here in Central London? Is it congested? If you were a customer would you mind coming to visit me in the downtown area?  Or do people make the sign of the cross and say a quick prayer everytime they have to tackle the Los Angeles traffic. I’ve read and heard that it can be quite a nightmare.

Should I take the special offer of the posh hotel in downtown LA, or stay nearby the LAX area where I’m already booked? Please let me know what your thoughts are.

Many thanks.xx

Isn’t it funny. Nobody in the UK wrote and gave any ideas about where to visit. I won’t take it personally *sticks out tongue*. And no P, asking me to “stay in London” does not count,lol.

I received emails from a couple of gents in the States, including a request to come to Philidelphia, but to be honest I’m not sure how that tour would go. New York was also mentioned, but I’ve done that before. Besides, it’s very expensive, especially with us Brits with the weak pound at the moment. And I wanted somewhere new.

So I had a chat with mate Sarah Jane and because she’s been before and can recommend it, I’ve decided I’m coming to Los Angeles. It’s a lot cheaper than New York too.

I’ve been to Northen California, San Francisco to be exact, for a break a few years ago and I loved it, but I’ve never been to LA. And I’m kind of drawn to the warm weather. Do you blame me, after the UK suffering a month of freezing temperatures over Christmas and New Year?

I’m quite excited now that I’m planning it. I’ve done a bit of research and I’ve already made reservations at a hotel that looks good. I always read Trip Advisor for objective traveller advice (for work and for play) and it hasn’t let me down yet.

What a difference two years make. When I stayed in NY for five nights in 2007, it was about $1.80 something to the £. It cost me $1300, which at the time was about £700. Now $1300 is about £900, and I can only get four nights for that. I must admit that was a major factor in my decision-making. Although it’ll cost around £100 more in air fare, LA hotels are much cheaper, basically half that of a decent hotel in NY. Plus the hotels are becoming less and less discreet and client-friendly now. The hotel where I stayed at before was one of the few in NY that didn’t require keycards for lifts or doormen demanding to see your room key. Now from what I’ve read on Trip Advisor, that’s now changed. I do understand and appreciate that since 9/11 things haven’t been the same. But it is becoming increasingly difficult finding a client-friendly hotel now.

Things seem to be more laid-back in LA, and I haven’t read of any such stringent conditions to have to adhere to with a lot of the hotels I researched. But then again, they didn’t suffer the horrors of 9/11.

Anyways, I’m rambling. So, Los Angeles it is then, for a few days near Easter time. I’ve written a dedicated page for my site and it’ll go up in the next day or so. So for those who’re interested, please feel free to have a peruse at your leisure then drop me a line. And I hope to be making your acquaintance very soon.

*Air kisses on both cheeks.*

I’m in the middle of making a booking with a customer down near Dover for next Thursday 18th. It’ll be a long (and late) one so I was thinking about making a whole day and night of it and going home the next morning. If you’ve always wanted a piece of my ample booty but I was too far away in London, now’s your chance. Please feel free to give me a call or drop me a line. If I’ve garnered enough interest then I might just find myself at the seaside next week.