It’s about a phone call I received this past Sunday evening. It was from a guy wanting to make a booking for today. Although his responses where a little staccato and mono-syllabilic, the conversation was going okay until I asked the gent if he had any special requirements, i.e. services, dress, that kind of thing.

He said without preamble, “I’d like to bang you up the arse if that’s okay with you.” After my fit of coughing from choking on my hot chocolate I asked him to repeat himself to make sure I hadn’t misheard him. He repeated, “I’d like to bang you up the arse.” I thought he was taking the mickey so I just hung up, speechless.

The gentleman then tried to call back, which I didn’t answer. He then text me, apologising if he’d offended me. Fair dos I thought. As he made the effort to apologise I’ll respond to his text. He said it had said on my site that I did anal. As I wrote the text on the site myself and as it’s a service I’ve never offered, I know that was a porkie pie (that’s rhyming slang for lie, if you’re not in the UK) and told him so. There’s no mention of it on my site and no mention in any of my reviews. He said that because it said “all services are inclusive of price” on my rates page he took that to mean that  anal was a service I provided. No, I says, it just means that there are no hidden extras.

He did try to change my mind and repeatedly asked me to see him, which I declined. I just know that I’d feel very uncomfortable seeing a gentleman who thinks it’s okay to speak to me in that way on the phone, simply because of the job I do. I felt it didn’t show me much respect, which, I imagine would be reflected in the booking itself.

I have had some men try and engage me in dirty talk over the phone when making a booking. Because of the job I go along with it. I guess it’s assumed I’m in sex mode 24 hours a day and I have nothing else on my mind, so I try not to shatter any illusions. And it’s harmless enough.

But being told by somebody in their first conversation to me that they’d like to “bang me up ther arse” was pushing it too far for me and those who know me know I’m no prude. It’s just rather a primitive and unattractive way to ask and it caught me off guard. I would’ve responded differently had he just plainly asked “do you do anal?” which is a common enough question I’m asked from time to time. I would’ve said no and we could’ve moved on, or hung up the phone.

I could just feel my arse immediately clench after our conversation. Even if it was a service I offered, I still wouldn’t have been too keen on the way I was asked. I mean c’mon, is that the way to ask for a service? Really?

The same night I changed the wording on my rates page to omit the word “all”, and to include “no hidden extras”. This way I’m hoping it’s not too much open to misinterpretation. At the end of the day, I can’t help what people think.

And I’m hoping that next time the gent in question calls an escort to make a booking or ask about services, he’ll engage in a little etiquette first.

And I still haven’t unclenched yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBniebL55bw