and I love Judge Ross, but who’s the best. There’s only one way to find out……FIGHT!!
(PS. If you don’t watch Harry Hill, this means nothing to you.)

The Bio Channel’s Judge Ross.

Admittedly I didn’t think I’d be in this situation again so soon. A problem has recently arisen with my incall base. Last week my landlady apparently received some bad news from back home and I had to cancel a booking I had made for last Saturday (sorry pet). I’ve been trying to reach her off and on since, both to make sure she is okay but also to see what was going on and maybe make a booking for next week but her phone’s now switched off. She may have suffered a family emergency and has had to go back home. Which means I’m left without a flat to work from.

Luckily I had this site in my bookmarks and have had to book a room for a multi-hour booking this coming Wednesday. Ironically, because it’s a long ‘un, it works out cheaper than the rent I’d have to pay my landlady anyway. Another chap I had to let down this week has expressed an interest for the same day, so I may just do the day there and take the rest of the week off, unless I get an outcall. They’ve been a couple of decent cheaps who’ve understood my dilemma and that it’s something I’ve had no control over. I’ve also had to email Yorkshire P as I have a booking with him on the 11th November to let him know what’s going on. I do hope all is well with my landlady, she was a lovely chick and we got on well.

I’ve put a couple of ads up again seeking new incall premises. Wish me luck. I’ll keep you posted.

As promised to myself I switched my phone off and went out for the day yesterday. But not before I had a couple of missed calls in the morning, both from undesirebles who for some strange reason, think they can waste my time and have it not occur to them that I would’ve saved their mobile numbers, in one chap’s case, both numbers, to prevent them from wasting my time again. I must admit, it perversely tickles me when timewasters call me back, thinking that I’m just that thick I wouldn’t have saved their number from the first instance.

So phone off and I’m off, to London Bridge, first to the Tate Modern, where I saw some wonderful art and admittedly, some art I just didn’t get. There was a free exhibition by film-maker Tacita Dean, which, although I understood her perspective as a film-maker, I still didn’t get. And when I walked in from the River entrance, in the Turbine Hall to my left, there was a massive silent movie on a giant screen with bubbles and what looked like an egg, and then feet. I think I’m one of those people that just appreciates old-fashioned art, like the Rembrandt and Van Gogh Museums which I saw when I went to Amsterdam back in 2000. Now that was art.

I managed to cover all levels, getting lost on level 5. This was 3pm by now and my feet was beginning to ache from standing/walking on them all day (why I didn’t wear my Birkenstocks I don’t know). My temper was beginning to fray. I felt stupid, having to give in and ask one of the curators the way out. I still didn’t find my way out immediately but I got there in the end.

It was 3.30 by the time I made my way to Borough Market. I was sorely tempted to take my boots off and walk in my socks but I resisted the temptation. I enjoyed the sights, sounds and smells that came with the market. I’m not sure if it was the time of the day but it wasn’t as busy as I’ve normally experienced it. I bought my usual delicacies and some cakes from Konditor and Cook. I couldn’t find the bloke that sold some wicked honey I’d bought previously, but towards one end of the market I saw a stall which sold some pickles, chutneys and honey. I was put off though, by the fact that the whole time I was standing there trying one of her samples (by now stale bread dipped in some expensive honey) the stall-holder was gassing on her mobile to a family member – I could tell it was either a family member or family friend because she mentioned her dad a couple of times – and I thought to myself that as she couldn’t be bothered to get off the phone and see to me I’ll leave, so I did. I didn’t see why I should give my hard-earned to a woman with such crap customer service.
Anyway, I just about made it home by 5pm but I did have to catch a taxi from the station. My feet was killing me by
then and there was no way I could walk the 10mins home. I said my excuse me’s to the taxi driver and took my boots off in the cab. As soon as I got indoors I stuck my feet in some hot water. Next time I go walk-about I’ll wear my Birks.

If I give myself another day off I think I’ll go to the British Museum. As I said I haven’t been since my school days and it’s about time I add it to the list of things to do in London. There’s also the British Library. I may even be able to visit them both in the same day, like I did a couple of years ago with the Museum of Natural History and the Science Museum in South Kensington. I’ll see how the rest of the year goes. I have another two days of training coming up in the next 10 days and I’ve signed up for another course in December. If I get another Friday to myself, I’m off again.

**************************************************************************************************

Below are some pictures I took inside the gallery. Excuse the lighting, remember there was no flash photography allowed. I also tried to remember the name of some of the pieces I took pictures of, but 24hrs later my mind’s a blank. Hope you like them though.

***************************************************************************************************

More pics of my day out.

What grinds my gears is when a gentleman calls to make to make a booking, but first proceeds to tell me off because he’s been calling every day since Monday and the phone’s been switched off. Sure enough when I looked through the phone afterwards there were a couple of missed call messages with his number. “Whilst you were drooling over the pictures over the past couple of days, did you have a look at the wording where it says I don’t work Mondays and Tuesdays?” I says. “Where does it say that?” he says. “On two pages of the site plus my diary,” I says. “Oh”, he says. “Didn’t see that…..”

©Peter Griffin – Family Guy

After struggling the whole week with my assignment due to various distractions I have at last completed and submitted it for marking. The deadline was tomorrow at 12. Talk about close to the bone. It probably didn’t help in the same week, having to also deal with the biggest distraction of an errant escort who thought it was in everybody’s interest to steal the whole of SAAFE and put it on Twitter, without first informing me, the co-owner. Simply because she didn’t feel she had to, it was there for the taking. But no matter, it’s sorted, thanks in large part to the superwoman that is my webmistress. I’m off to do the happy dance, having completed part one of level one of the course. Next, Discovering Psychology, of which the text book arrived last week and I’ve been sniffing its new book smell (don’t laugh at me, we all have our predilictions, sniffing new books is mine; I don’t get to do that so much with my beloved Kindle, not that I’m complaining).

And so, to this week. I will be around even less, as I celebrate the completion of this part of my course by taking Friday off to go wandering around London. I think after the week I’ve had last week I deserve it: apart from still taking a couple of bookings, I’ve also had to work last Thursday covering my supervisor on the phone lines as he’s away on leave. I also had a two day training course to get my office skills back up to scratch, the 2nd day being today. So yes, I definitely deserve a day off.

I think I’ll pay a visit to my favourite place, Borough Market (even more my favourite since I discovered a small Konditor and Cook near the market itself), and then as it’s in the vicinity and I’ve been meaning to go for yonks, a visit to the Tate Modern is in order. Gerhardt Richter has an exhibition going at the moment, I may or may not go to it, we’ll see, I’m not that fussed. But I’m definitely in the mood for a Tate Modern visit. So this coming Friday will be a “me” day. I’ll still be free this Wednesday and Saturday, as I’ll still be covering for my supervisor this Thursday. But if anybody wants to jump my bones, those are the only two days free this week in which to do so.

I’m off to do the happy dance.x

To sum up an evening watching two powerhouses at their best last night.

Both Warrior Amy and I were very much looking forward to seeing Driving Miss Daisy last night, although we just got in by the skin of our teeth. I could’ve sworn that the doors opened at 7.30 and the play commenced at 8 to finish at 9.30. But the play started at 7.30 to finish at 9pm. It seems I wasn’t the only one to think that; half an hour into the play when there was a pause inbetween scenes, a load of latecomers were waiting in the wings and hurriedly took their seats before the next scene started. I only hope they didn’t miss too much.
It was a good thing we weren’t too far away from the theatre in Leicester Square. We had dinner at KFC and had a bit of a chat inbetween noshing, catching up since the last time we saw each other. We then leisurely made our way over to the Wyndham’s theatre and as soon as we got in it was then we heard the announcement that the play would be starting in three mins. We didn’t even have time for a ladies stop and we were hustled in to find our seats. To our (slight) dismay, the row we were sitting in was already filled except for our two seats that were off-centre, which meant disturbing those already comfortably seated. And if anybody’s ever been to the Wyndham’s Theatre, you know it’s not very big. So there’s Amy and I making profuse apologies for disturbing the less tardy crowd, “Sorry….sorry….so sorry….excuse me….was that your foot?….so sorry…..apologies”, until we finally got to our seats. We must’ve had about a minute to spare before the lights dimmed and the curtains went up. We hurriedly put our phones on silent and sat back and watched the start.

It was just amazing watching Vanessa Redgrave with her Georgia accent and James Earl Jones as Hoke. And let’s not forget Boyd Gaines as Boolie, Miss Daisy’s son, who I do recognise from American cop shows like Law and Order, but is an accomplished Tony award-winning actor in his own right. It was just the three of them throughout the play, Boyd Gaines placing or removing the props himself with such fluidity that you hardly noticed the pauses inbetween scenes. And as the play was set in the 60s, the backdrop also served as a projector where they showed Martin Luther King’s I Have A Dream speech and Black American male demonstrators wearing “I Am A Man” signs around their neck. Basically old footage from civil rights demonstrations. The issue of race was sensitively dealt with; very well written.

For the most part there was a respectful silence while the play was on, although there was the perpetual sound of someone unwrapping a sweet directly behind me. Who the hell brings boiled sweets to the theatre? I’m suprised nobody’s phone went off, although after reading about Daniel Craig and Hugh Jackman halting their Broadway play a couple of years ago so an audience member could answer his ringing mobile, I’m not suprised that people are a bit more careful with leaving theirs on.

Amy was the perfect theatre companion. She watched the play throughout and didn’t speak the entire time, which is what I feel you’re supposed to do when in a theatre: don’t talk, just listen and watch. She’ll kill me for this, but at the end I caught her wiping away a tear or two. It seems a couple of the scenes made her well-up a little, such was the emotiveness of the play. Honestly, she’s worse than SJ, she can cry at a commercial if it’s sad enough. Apparently she blabbed like a baby at Billy Elliot. I did cry when Oprah said goodbye on her final show, but I don’t think I ever have at a play. Whilst I’m at it, I do recommend this site to buy your theatre tickets; loads cheaper than Ticketmaster and a bit cheaper than lastminute.com. I bought the same seats Ticketmaster was selling for £74 each plus booking fee for £60 each all in.

Anyway, I’m a bit tired now. I didn’t get to sleep until 1am this morning, watching the last season of Law and Order and I had a booking earlier on this afernoon. Next week is a bit of a funny one as I go on courses and take days off my Other Job and work when I normally don’t and also my final assignment for this course is due Tuesday week, so my time will be limited. Next week I’ll be free Monday, Wednesday and Saturday only. I have a booking for 6pm on Monday so one more would be good. Check my diary for up-to-date availability.

Have a good week.

Well, I’ve been back home from Glasgow for the past couple of days now. Sorry I didn’t blog yesterday but I had a booking in the afternoon and it turned into a busy day (thanks to C for the holiday tip). I gave myself the day off today to housey-type stuff like the shopping, recycling and the school run.

Glasgow was as ever, brilliant. It was great to go out on a high. I won’t lie, it didn’t start off very promising. Apart from seeing my lovely Twiggy on the Sunday and one other on the Monday morning, that was it until I got up there. I did have other bookings made but they all cancelled with one type of affliction or another. But as I mentioned before, meeting the lovely chaps from Viva Street saved my behind and it turned into a busy few days. It was weird, all my clients bar Twiggy came from one source, Viva Street, not a sausage from all the other sites I’d advertised on. Too bad, their loss. I did have a minor heart attack though when my 6.30 took his time in getting to my hotel room and it turned out he was walking up and down looking for the wrong room. It was a blessing that the number he thought the room was didn’t exist so he didn’t knock on any doors, whew!

I’d like to say a special thank you to the lovely gentleman who ended up coming to see me three times, yes, you heard me, three times over three days, I was that fantastic,lol. And he extended his time on the third visit, so I had no choice but to give him a bit of gratis for all his visits. There have been a couple of occassions where a chap has come back to see me within a week, never three days in a row. So a big wave and a thank you to C, I had a fab time. I still looked sexy with the shower cap on, didn’t I. Couldn’t resist me, couldya.

I did come up for air on the Monday afternoon and went for a bit of retail therapy at the Buchanan Galleries before re-commencing my evening bookings. I didn’t buy much, just a big cable knit slouch bag from Republic reduced in the sale and a nice chunky bracelet from Next (hey, I can see your eyes glazing over). I stopped and had lunch at one of the cafés, a huge bowl of that staple of Scotland, lentil soup and bread, £2.50 with my NUS card. Not bad, eh! I also wanted to grab a picture of one of the old variety halls left in the country, the Pavillion Theatre. Love this building. Then it was back to the hotel and some more rumpy-pumpy with a couple more clients before retiring for the evening at around 9.30.

Back down to London Euston on the Tuesday and an otherwise pleasant ride was slightly marred by the drunken lout who left a half-empty can of cheap lager on the luggage rack on the train, which of course toppled over and spilt on to other passengers bags, including mine. So I spent the rest of the journey going home smelling like cheap stale beer. Lovely.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to tomorrow and seeing Driving Miss Daisy with Warrior Amy. I have no takers to spend some time with me at my posh hotel, so I may just cancel it (you have until 12pm tomorrow to call), as I have an outcall for the Saturday and need to conserve my energy.

Yes, whilst it’s nearly 30°C back home, here in Glasgow the high was about half that, around 16° and it’s rained on and off all day. I thought it was quite funny. I could see the gradual change on the journey up on the train yesterday, from cloudless blue skies in the south to overcast in the north. Apart from popping out to the shops to get some bits and bobs, I haven’t really had a chance to go out, besides it was a good day today, unbelievably all my clients were from Viva Street on-line classifieds. Although I did have to sort the wheat from the chaff to meet these chaps, including a rather scrumptious 19 year old (just call me Mrs. Robinson), although, as it was his very first time seeing an escort, I had to impart some advice to him: don’t come up to escort’s hotel room with your wallet out and in your hand, not very discreet, luv. Apart from that little faux pas it was a good day, despite the silly phone calls – one asking if I could be kitted out in full pvc regalia in ten minutes, “because I’m here in Glasgow anyway”. Again gentlemen, I don’t carry a wardrobe on my back, I’m not going to bring one in the hopes that I might get a request for my pvc outfit if it’s not by prior arrangement. Or the chap asking if I could see him and his mate for a three-sum the same day. Um, that would be a resounding no geez. I don’t know you from Adam and I know your mate even less. Strewth! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude, I would’ve loved a three-sum. But for my own security I would need more than a quick phone call asking “can you see my and my mate at the same time today?” True, some ladies do that, not me. Nah, that’s just inviting trouble.
And of course the ubiquitous withheld numbers from people who, when it says on the ad “withheld numbers will not be answered”, seem to think that, for some inexplicable reason, the rule doesn’t apply to them so call from withheld numbers anyway. I’m assuming they’re not too suprised when I cut their phone call and it goes unanswered.

Using Viva Street Classifieds is a bit manic with lots of timewasters but I do get to meet some lovely people. Saying that, I’m glad not to be using it again. Whilst it’s more than paid for itself by today alone (one of the chaps I saw today is paying me another visit on Monday morning), I consider it a necessary evil. It has to be said, it’s been good for me for both Manchester and Glasgow, but the grief I’ve encountered from them having my ad edited by them and pictures deleted because I’m sitting on a bed, not to mention it’s doubled in price since the last time I used it back in July. But at least Viva Street don’t ask for the earth. Looking for somewhere else to advertise my tour, I found a site a couple of weeks ago called Escorts Scotland. Not only do they want a full-face verification photo of me holding a sign with today’s date and “Escorts Scotland” written on it, they want my full personal details, i.e. my full name and address, AND, my passport details, specifically that long code at the bottom of it which airport security reads when you’re going through (if you have a bio-metric passport you’ll know what I’m on about). Yeah, right! So for all its sins I stuck with Viva Street and it’s come up trumps. The most I put up with them is their idiotic “nothing of a sexual nature at all in either your pics or your ad because we’re scared of being closed down like Craiglist” policy. This is what I’m assuming, considering a couple of years back they no problems with ads or pictures of a more lascivious nature.

So, it’s now nearly 9pm. I’ve just had the best steak pie and chips dinner (Scotland do the best fish n’ chips in my opinion, Brighton a close second) from the chippy round the corner, and a bottle of Irn Bru for dinner…well, when in Rome. I’m chilling out in front of the telly watching the X-Factor, shouting at the screen at the judges to pick my favourite four for the live shows next week. Not sure what else to watch afterwards, I do miss my Sky when I’m not home. The good thing is I can get some Sky channels live fed onto my lap-tap so I may just do that. They call it Sky-Go, eligible to those with a Sky subscription. I may even catch up on BBC I-Player, with new series The Body Farm, with that pathologist from Waking The Dead, I watched the first one last night. It’s not “FOR GOD’S SAKE SPENCE” Waking the Dead with Trevor Eve, but it fills a gap. It has another curmudgeonly character played by Keith Allen, so I have high hopes for it.

Tomorrow is a quiet day so far, but I’m seeing one of my all-time favourites, Twiggy. Luckily for me his slight change in circumstances at home means that he could come and see me for a few hours. I’m so happy to be seeing him considering I assumed Edinburgh would be the last time. A brucie bonus for me indeed.

I have a couple of bookings on Monday so I’ve got room for one more later on in the afternoon. Glasgow is a last-minute kinda place so no doubt the phone will be ringing a lot on the day, much like it did today and yesterday. Or there’s always time for a quickie before I check out on Tuesday morning. Hopefully there’ll be a bit of sun left over when I get home.

Have a good rest of the weekend.

In one of my previous posts I mentioned that I hadn’t been to a play since Art in the late 90s. That’s not right. It took a commercial for The Jerry Springer Show just now on the telly for me to remember that I had actually been to see stuff since.

Yes, I’m one of those heathens that went to see The Jerry Springer Musical a couple of years ago. It had David Soul as Jerry Springer and it was hilarious. I’m not really into musicals, in fact my eyes start to glaze over when I’m watching a movie and somebody bursts into song. But SJ had been dying to see it and she dragged me along. I have to say that was really good. Does anybody remember the demonstrations outside theatres for people to boycott it?

Before that I went to see Smaller with Alison Moyet and Dawn French, again with SJ, about two sisters, one of them (Moyet) went off to find fame and fortune, the other (French) stayed home to take care of their disabled elderly mother. The friction ensues when Moyet’s character returns home. I’ve also seen An Inspector Calls, a play I had read at school. I had wanted to see what it would be like actually watching it being acted out, instead what it was like in my head. It’s back in the West End this year.

I’d love to see more plays and I still wouldn’t mind going to see Avenue Q, though it’s technically a musical, which I can forgo because it’s that funny. If anybody fancies any dinner dates which includes theatre visits…..

On thinking about it, I’m going to make October 7th a nice day and night to myself. Enjoy myself I think. I have two weeks inbetween courses, the next one starting early November so I think I’ll indulge myself a bit before I launch myself into it.

I’ve booked a night at a 4* hotel near Euston Stn. If anybody fancies spending an hour or so with me on the afternoon of the 7th drop me a line or give me a call. Bear in mind I’d have to kick you out before 6pm so I can get ready for my evening out. The hotel’s also near King’s Cross/St. Pancras so it’s well-served by public transportation.

If I don’t get any takers I might go a-wandering. Warrior Amy reminds me that the British Library is in the vicinity. I may save that for another day because I’d really love to go to the British Museum and there seems to be a lot going on there at the moment. Whilst I’ve been to the Museum of Natural History and the Science Museum in South Kensington in recent years, I haven’t been to the British Museum since the school trip a millenia ago. It’ll be a nice way to start off my day of culture. Either way I’ll enjoy myself but if you do fancy some illicit how’s-your-father in a posh London hotel, let me know.