It’s been a battle of mental proportions trying to get everything done. A funny few days, with a few ups and downs. More downs than ups. I was so determined to get my assignment done before the start of the weekend I hadn’t read the question properly and ended up having to rewrite quite a bit of it. Luckily at least the gist of it was there, it just needed a bit of restructuring. By Saturday it was done and I exhaled a huge breath of relief as I put the finishing touches to my essay and submitted it for marking. Tell you what, I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard on one, even when I was at school. The bloomin’ thing took me 3 days all in all.

The bad news for me is that after a month, no, make that five weeks, of waiting for a response (after I was informed that hearing nothing was a good sign) I received an email for the latest job I was going for – remember? the one where I had to do the aptitude test (which, ironically, I passed so I was told) as soon as I submitted my application – to be told thanks but no thanks. To say I was deflated at not reaching the interview stage is putting it a little mildly. If this was before the recession I know I would’ve been in there based on my volunteer background. But things are a lot tougher out there now, that’s for sure. I’ll just have to keep on going.

I’m almost packed and ready to go. Behave yourselves whilst I’m away and I’ll see you when I get back.x

This week is a busy one for me as I prepare for New York the following week. The bookings and enquiries are coming in and I’m feeling a lot better this time around than I did last year. I’m looking forward to it. I’ve been busy spending last week advertising on the appropriate US based websites and steering clear from others that haven’t worked in the past for me. Packing needs to be done plus any last minute shopping that inevitably comes with going away on a trip.

My latest assignment has to be completed by Tuesday week and it’s a big one so I’ll be making a start on it today. This is my main priority this week. I’m taking the day off my Other Job tomorrow and just do one day on Tuesday. If I’m not done by Wednesday which is likely I’ll be taking that day off work. The phone will be off at least until the evening.

As for the rest of the week, I have a booking with Yorkshire P on Thursday afternoon at London Bridge. If anybody’s around in the area between the hours of 1 and 3pm give me a call. I have an outcall to Shepherd’s Bush next Friday, which gives me a good excuse to sneak in a visit to Westfield afterwards. Then it’s the weekend putting any finishing touches to my essay and getting ready for the trip.

The new photos are very well received, I don’t think my phone’s ever been so busy during the month of February. It’s a shame a lot of them have been last minute, the kind of calls where the chaps call first and ask questions afterwards. Bless the gent who couldn’t quite get why I couldn’t drop everything when he called at 6pm for a booking at 7.30pm, assuring me that he was “really nice”, which is kind of irrelevant as I didn’t know him from Adam.

And yes, nearly two months later and I’m still working out in front of the telly. You didn’t think I’d last did you? I can tell the weight’s coming off me because my clothes are starting to fit differently. I just may now be able to keep up with Amy. I was hoping to fit in three workout days this week but I’m not sure how feasible that will be, I may have to settle for two and give it some welly. And no, I no longer look like a banana.

Have a good week.x

After slaving over a hot computer my webmistress has come through (yet again) and got the new pics up and running in record time. Isn’t she wonderful? And I must say I look rather scrumptious, even if I do say so myself.

I’ve got rid of one and added two new galleries as there were too many pictures to choose from. They’re mostly watermarked but I have asked my webmistress when she has a spare moment if she could just put a ‘KLR’ across the one at the top and at the side, as they’re smaller in width. Ever since that moo stole my pics back in November and passed them off as herself I’m well paranoid now, so it doesn’t hurt to be extra cautious.

I’ve also had to update the text a bit to mention my missing tattoos. For the sake of discretion I thought it best to have them completely removed, not just blurred. I’ve also had to update my incall info. I’m still working out of hotels and loving it, so no plans to get a permanent incall place. I’m getting too old to be mucked about.

Hopefully this’ll be the last time I’ll need new pics. I hope you like them.

I’ve been contemplating getting new photos done but there were a couple factors holding me back. 1: I balked at the idea of forking out hundreds of pounds for a photo shoot only to retire a few months later. 2: Of all the photographers listed in the recommended section of SAAFE, not one of them has a BBW in their portfolio. I can only assume that that they’re not used to photographing us big wimmin. Not to knock ‘em, as they’ve all come recommended by escorts, but the fact is, no BBWs on any of their portfolios. Just sayin’.

What with SJ no longer around in the business and not seeing Twiggy to twist his arm to take any pics of me, I was somewhat at a loss. As great luck would have it, Warrior Amy was briefly back in London for the day before returning back home after a successful tour of the Channels Isles and….she had her (professional) camera with her, a Canon SLR something something. She was in the process of updating her own gallery and brought it with her on her travels. When I told her about my quandry she kindly offered to take some for me. Below is an example of the results, and if you’ve a keen eye you’ll see one already on my New York page of my blog. I must say I’m very pleased with them. Amy’s taken so many good ones I’m going to be spoilt for choice, I’ve warned my webmistress that I might have to have an extra gallery put up as I still want to keep the facesitting gallery. Amy’s done a mixture of colour and black and white pics, the latter I’ve never done before. There are even some fully nude ones, again, something I’ve never done before. I think I’m getting a bit bold in my dotage. When she sends them to me, I’ll go through the ones I’d like to display and I’ll inform you when they’re up. Amy took quite a lot, so it’ll take time to go through. Although nowhere near as big as I am, she has an (obvious) eye on what curvy women want, which is what I was hoping for. The only thing she was lacking in was height, and with me at 5ft 10in, 6ft 4in in my Killer Heels, she brought back memories of SJ struggling with my height too. Amy made use of various pieces of hotel furniture to stand on to catch me at a good angle and I think she’s captured me well. We did have a couple of hairy moments with a table but otherwise all went well.

Afterwards, to thank her for the pics and her time, I took her out to lunch. We went to Ping Pong on the South Bank, near the Royal Festival Hall, another lovely Chinese restaurant that made wicked dim sum. Apart from the food the drinks were heavenly. I had this particularly gorgeous (non-alcoholic) drink called the Dragon Kumquat. I could’ve downed a couple more of them. Afterwards we went for a walk around a little market outside the restaurant, bought some delicacies including a slice of New York cheesecake which I ate straight out of the box when I got home. All in all it was a good day. It was freezing but the sun was out which helped. Back home via Waterloo for me, King’s Cross for Amy. Photos up soon.

I’ve pondered long and hard and the pseudo-psychologist in me has always wanted to know the answer to these questions. I genuinely would love to know:

1. When asked “where did you get my number?” (I only ask because I still find it difficult to comprehend after 10 years (yes folks, 10 years last month) in the business that gentlemen still ask me questions that are clearly stated on my website), to be told “my friend gave me your number”. Any idea how old that withered chestnut is? Seriously, what is the thinking behind that obvious untruth? To hear the voice of a real-life escort, what?

2. Y do u insist on emailing me n txt spk? Do you know what happens when I receive an email like I’m on par with the rest of your peers, even though I’m probably twice your age (because it’s only the young ‘uns that are guilty of this) and I wasn’t born with a mobile phone in my mouth? It goes straight in the virtual bin. I’ve probably done myself a disservice and I’ll have to live with missing out on meeting some lovely chaps, but c’mon! First impressions and all that. As a self-confessed anally retentive grammar-corrective freak, there’s nothing that clamps my legs shut tighter that Scrooge’s wallet than the heinous misuse of the English language.
If you want to text speak, do that on the phone – but not to me because I don’t answer texts from people I’ve never met anyway. But if your peers don’t mind it, away you go. As a matter of courtesy and basic respect, the same respect I would afford you, please don’t correspond with me asking “How do I book wid u?” *Clang*

3. Why oh why, when you call me do you have either the telly or the stereo blaring in the background? Why do you think that’s a good idea? And then when you can’t hear what I’m saying and you shout “Wot?” I have to raise my voice? Which doesn’t go down very well with me when I’m trying to be as discreet as all get out. You’ve got no idea where I am when you call and my surrounding environment maybe such that discretion is the way to go. There’s nothing worse than asking me “What services do you do?” with Dizzy Rascal blaring in the background and you expect me to compete with Dolby Stereo Surround Sound back there.

4. Why, when it clearly states what I am on my website and I advertise on a directory selling sexual services, do you think it’s appropriate to ask me “if I have a man” and when asked if there was any intention of making a booking to be greeted with, “I would rather take you out for a coffee because I just love big, black women of West Indian heritage?” I’m not on Adultwork looking for a date, nor a relationship for that matter. And how presumptuous of you to think I am. Nowhere on my site or on any of the directories I advertise on does it say “I’m lonely and I’m looking for a meaningful relationship on Adultwork, home of more fanny flaps, gaping bumholes and non-descript willies then you’ll ever see in your lifetime”. Believe me, if I ever get the urge to advertise on-line for a meaningful relationship, it won’t be on there, trust me.

*…and breathe*. I’m owed this one, I haven’t had a rant in a long time.

Work started off quietly but suddenly seemed to have gotten hectic these past couple of weeks. The phone’s been ringing merrily away and last week I saw a couple of my favourite clients at the hotel I use in SW7. Wednesday it was the chap I call Clark Kent, an unassuming-looking gent who looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth but is the horniest toad in the bedroom. Thursday it was Yorkshire P’s turn, having missed me over the holidays. I’m hoping to catch up with him just before I go to New York and he goes off on holiday. This week has been an early morning (9.30am is early morning to me, alright!) outcall to Central London to see a client I had only seen once before but is blessed with one of those lovely names that one can’t easily forget. That was up near Marble Arch/Oxford St. way. I forget how much I love walking around London, and at 11 in the morning it was relatively quiet after the morning rush hour. It was nostalgic seeing the iconic red phone boxes complete with sex cards, didn’t realise they were still around. Then it was a leap (okay a step) onto the No. 73 bus to Victoria where I wandered about in the freezing cold a little bit until I couldn’t stand it any longer and waited inside to meet up with Warrior Amy for lunch at a restaurant I had tried once before, Dim t. As usual it was wonderful seeing her, catching up since we last met just before Christmas. We did our now customary catch up with what was on our Kindles, she now the proud owner of some Kindle books that *cough* fell off the back of a mobile library (remember those?). That’ll keep her going for a while. We’ve also started making plans for New York – discussing things from where to advertise to what we’d like to do whilst there. It’s just over a month until we’re off. Which reminds me, I promised her I’d look and see what’s playing off-Broadway that I’d like to go and see. Would’ve loved to have seen a Broadway show, but at around $200 a pop for tickets….no. Not when tickets in the West End is the equivalent to approx. $100.

Whilst YoSushi remains one of my favourite quickie eateries, Dim t had a glorious menu and I must admit we did have a bit of difficulty choosing what to eat. I settled on a better version of Chicken Katsu Curry than I normally get at YoSushi, Amy had the Chicken with Lemon Sauce. We also shared some dim sum, which was just scrumptious.
She’s back in London for one day next week Friday before she goes back home to Scarborough. I’m hoping to catch up with her again and hopefully we can make a stop at Konditor & Cook.

My work-out’s going really well. It’ll be about a month since I first started it and look, I’m still going! I only managed it twice this week (Monday and this morning) as I had the early outcall on Wednesday morning. My lycra top no longer rides up and bunches up under my boobs as it first did, which means I’m toning up as it’s fitting better. The cat still has this innate need to jump down off the sill and climb on top of me whilst I’m doing the Legs, Bums and Tums section of the dvd. It’s just weird, I work out for nearly an hour and it’s not until I’m lying on the floor that she decides I need company. I think she thinks I’m going to sleep.

My Psychology course is going well. I exceeded my own expectations and got a whopping 80% for my first assignment. On my last course they were all mid-60s. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m better at psychology than sociology, or my tutor is a more lenient marker. Or maybe I’m just getting better at writing essays, who knows? I admit, as this is more to do with the study of peoples’ minds, I’m more engrossed in the reading of this book than I was on the previous course. I’ll see what happens. I may even change the course of this course (see what I did there?) if it looks like I’m more suited to the Psychology side of Criminology than Social Policy. At the moment I’m trying to keep on top of, and even a little ahead of my reading so I can make sure to have my next assignment submitted before New York. The proof will be in this next assignment as it’s a 1500 worder. The previous was in two parts, 250 and 800 words respectively.

This weekend I have a booking tomorrow at 12pm for an hour. I did have another at 2pm but I’ve just cancelled it. Some gentlemen seem to think that after they’ve made a booking they can then bombard me with texts and think it’s part of the deal. I think from now on I’m going to switch the phone off when I’m not working or expecting any confirmation calls. After work tomorrow it’ll be switched off until next Tuesday evening. I’ll put it back on until I’ve got enough work to keep me going for the week then it’s off again. Last week I had to turn it off for a few days after a particularly unpleasant and abusive character called from a new number to make a booking and cannot seem to fathom for the life of him, why after he’s racially abused me I’m unwilling to drop my big panties for him. He’s been trying on and off for the past 5 months and I’m thisclose to calling the police, something I’ve never had to do before. His accent gives him away so he won’t be getting far with me. Unfortunately now I’m at the stage where I’m becoming less and less inclined to keep the phone on. I know it’s hardly customer service, but to be honest it felt really good not having the phone on. Sorry to have missed all the genuine chaps, but if you want me that bad you’ll get me. And if anybody wants to get in touch you’re always welcome to email me.

But if anybody’s in the London Bridge area tomorrow around 2pm, even for a quickie half hour, do feel free to give me a call. I’m going to do my darndest to avoid Borough Market, but I can’t promise anything.

Hence the reason why it’s taken me so long to blog. My apologies to those who read regularly and have been expecting to see another entry before now. Things have been hectic.

Now that the new year is here I’ve stepped up the job search and have already sent in a couple of applications. Who knew they’d be so time-consuming? One of them I won’t hear back from as interviews are for this Friday and if I didn’t hear anything by this past Monday I knew that would be a non-starter.
Over the weekend I filled out another application. As soon as I put the finishing touches to that on Monday afternoon I had to do an aptitude test, which was another hour and 15 minutes. It’s a good thing I had taken the day off my Other Job to complete my assignment as it was due yesterday. After that was done then came the job application immediately followed by the aptitude test, it appeared as soon as I submitted my application online. I can’t remember when I’ve ever done one so all I can do is cross my fingers. The deadline is not until this coming Sunday so if I do hear anything it won’t be until next week. Given the job market situation at the moment I expect the response to this particular job to be immense. We’ll see.

Meanwhile I’ve started working out. That’s right, you heard me, I’ve joined the countless masses that have thrown themselves into getting fit for the new year. It is something I’ve been promising myself for a while and there’s no more procrastinating. I only hope it’s not going to fall by the wayside and the dvd becomes a coaster for my morning coffee. Although I’m eating a lot more healthier than I did over two years ago, for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to work out and I’m not sure why. Laziness I suppose. But I have the time (in the mornings unless I have work) and I’ve no more excuses.
You should’ve seen me when I did it for the first time last week. There I was, looking like a right ‘nana. Seriously, I must’ve looked like a banana. I had my big yellow Spongebob t-shirt on with black cut-off trackie bottoms. Brown both ends and yellow in the middle. Yep, a right bruised banana. So this week I dug out some old work-out gear that I haven’t worn since my regular days at the gym ten years ago. The top barely fits but that’s okay as it’s tight enough to stops my boobs from whacking me in the face everytime I make an attempt at jumping.
Today’s work-out was hilarious. The cat was eyeing me quizically the whole time I was working out and when I was flat out on the floor during the Legs, Bums and Tums section of the dvd, she jumped down off the window sill and trotted over to me, miaowing and pawing at me, as if to question why I’m flat out on my back with my legs in the air sweating bullets. If cats could laugh she’d have been in hysterics. I’m sure she was having a chortle inside.

Apart from wanting to get fit for the new year, New York is around the corner. I love walking around Manhattan so I need to get fit just for that. Not to mention my girl Amy who’s coming with me walks like she’s in a race. From experience I have to almost jog to keep up with her. I have longer legs, I don’t walk fast, I amble. Amy has the littlest legs, she walks like SJ, they both go like tiny rockets. I don’t know what it is with short people.
So for those reasons I have to get fit. Besides, I want to eat with gay abandon when I’m there and not worry about having to squeeze into my jeans when I’m back home. And hopefully when I do get back I’ll keep up with keeping fit.

Work’s a bit thin on the ground as it usually is at this time of the year. I had an outcall last Thursday and I’ve another one this Saturday and Yorkshire P’s coming down to London next Thursday. I never expect too much out of January, February too for that matter. Everybody’s still broke after the holidays and things don’t normally pick up until March, so I’m happy to just totter along and see what comes.

Not that I haven’t had my share of attractive (wanna-be) bookings. I got a phone call from a chap last night, a real fast talker, called approx. 5.30pm wanting an overnight that night. It’s obvious he hadn’t bothered to read the site properly or he’d know that I don’t do short notice bookings (especially overnights with people I’ve never met), or work on Tuesdays. I knew as soon as this chap started talking that he was a timewaster. He was a pretty slick talker and I was answering his queries, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He asked me how kinky am I and was I prepared to offer this, that and the other service. Most I said yes to, anal sex was a no. He said he’d pay extra for another specialist service to which I replied that it wasn’t necessary. I’m always suspicious of gentlemen who say they’re willing to pay extra. Why would you if the lady has already stated that she would offer it anyway? And then the other shoe dropped. He wanted bareback sex because he wanted to “feel deep inside me”. I sighed, told him no, it’s not something I offer. He persisted, I hung up. It was going nowhere so there was no point in wasting both our times.
I understand there are escorts who do offer bareback, if the profiles on Adultwork are to be believed. Why not search for a lady that fits all his requirements instead of browbeating somebody who’s said no to you once already? So that was yesterday. If anybody would like a (straight-forward) booking this week, with an understanding of the services I do offer and won’t browbeat me into doing something I wouldn’t offer in a million years, do drop me a line or give me a call.

Hi again. Well, I hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas (or whatever your religious equivalent may be). Mine was good, very busy, not sure where the last two weeks went. I didn’t have much work, just a two-hour outcall last Friday. The phone was busy right enough, but they were mostly chancers calling on the day hoping for a booking. I’m not sure how many times I have to say that I don’t take same day appointments. I can only assume that as usual they were chaps who couldn’t spare the two minutes it takes to read the blurb and just picks up the phone as soon as they look at the pictures. I would even go so far as to say that there was a touch of thoughtlessness in there too that they would assume that at such a busy time in the holidays I would be sitting here with nothing better to do other than to wait for their call. As usual it was their loss.

Okay, I’m now pulling out my finger and posting up my wonderful pics of my day out to the National Gallery from the 23rd December. I couldn’t take pictures of the portraits themselves, no photography was allowed. I’m not sure if I would’ve anyway. When you’re in the company of such artistry you can’t help but feel a touch of reverance towards them. You’d have to take my word for it when I tell you what an absolutely wonderful experience it was and it’s something I’m not likely to forget for a very long time.
The day in itself was crap weather-wise, it was raining off and on all day. Being the Friday before Christmas, London was very busy, it seems the weather did nothing to dampen anybody’s enthusiasm. Lots of tourists were taking pictures of Nelson’s Column and other landmarks. It was a dash to get to the Sainsbury Wing of the National Gallery, where the exhibition was held. The tickets were timed and mine was for 1pm. And I could see why. You should’ve seen the queue for people who didn’t have tickets that were hoping to get in. And for those with tickets it was timed so that the exhibition didn’t get too crowded at any one point.

After I picked up the audio equipment and headset I made my way to the start of the exhibition, which was very extensive, covering several rooms and another floor. All the portraits were numbered, as were the sketches. The sketches themselves (you can see one in one of the magnets in the photos) were rough drawings of what was to become a painting; different body parts, the mechanics of the flow of a cloak, things like that. To look at these and think that Leonardo Da Vinci was sitting at his table doodling them was mind-blowing. Some of the portraits on display were The Lady with an Ermine (an ermine being the sign of purity because of its white coat), The Virgin of the Rocks, the Madonna Litta and The Burlington House Cartoon to name but a few. They saved The Last Supper ’til the end and a lump came to my throat when I walked into the final room (the Sunley Room) of the exhibition. I’m sure where they hung it it was supposed to have a breathtaking effect when one walks into the room and indeed it did. You couldn’t take your eyes off of it. They had the original (copy) inside the room itself, with another copy one of his sympathisers, Giampietrino, painted on a wall just inside the entrance. And again there were rough sketches Da Vinci did of The Last Supper; Judas’s head, John The Baptist’s hand, etc. One thing I never noticed was this: when you look at the portrait, you’ll see groups of threes of things; the disciples in threes, the trees in the background in threes and the windows in threes. What we saw is a copy of the original. The original itself was painted on to a wall but was considered a ruin as it had taken Da Vinci 20 years to finish therefore deemed unstable as the paint on the wall had flaked after so many years, hence the copies. The original painting is still on the wall of a convent in Santa Maria delle Grazie Milan. I hope that made sense.

An exhibtion such as this leaves an indelible mark on you and it’s something I know I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. And of course to commemorate my visit was the obligatory visit to the gift shop. I just had to take away a few mementos with me. 12 years ago I had bought some things to commemorate my visit to the Van Gogh Museum in the Netherlands and I don’t know where they are now. I have to make sure the same fate doesn’t befall these. I haven’t even dared open the book yet, it’s still in its cellophane.

Afterwards I thought I’d pop along to Jermyn street off Haymarket, see if I could pick up some posh smelly cheese at Paxton and Whitfield. I wanted to get some Stinking Bishop, the cheese made famous in the Wallace and Gromit movies. The queues put paid to that idea. When I got there the queue was bent double, with a waiting time of up to 40-50mins. Sod that, I thought. One thing I don’t do is wait in a queue for food. 5-10mins maybe, anything longer than that, forget it. That’ll teach me to leave it until the last minute. Never mind. On one of my days out I’ll be sure to stop by again when it’s not seasonal and there’s no mad rush.

All in all it was a brilliant day. I’ve had a look at the National Gallery’s website to see what exhibitions they’re going to have for 2012. It seems they’ll have a Turner exhibition, but I’m afraid it doesn’t grab me like the Da Vinci one did. Ideally I’d like to go back to Amsterdam to the Van Gogh museum. Now that would be brilliant.

I still have the British Library on my list to visit. I should do that before I go back to civvy street and my time becomes limited. I’ll see what the next couple of months bring.

Happy New Year to all three people that read my blog.
Thanks to all the wonderful clients I’ve met over the past year, to the clients that have stuck with me throughout the years. I hope to meet a few more like you in the time I have left in the business. I also want to raise a glass to the few decent women left in the business. Thanks for all your hard work in it and for bringing acceptance and tolerance one step closer to the masses.
Happy 2012.

Tell you what, if anybody’s thinking of claiming back any bank charges or mis-sold Payment Protection Insurance from any credit cards, loans or mortgages from the last ten years but they can’t be bothered, have a rethink. I’ve recently and successfully claimed back PPI from my Marks and Spencer credit card I neither needed nor asked for and I’m just in the middle of sorting things out for my mum. Dozens of companies have suddenly popped up advertising on daytime telly, promising you they can get you your money back. My mum was thinking of signing up with one of them as they kept cold-calling her, I warned her off them and referred her to an old episode of Watchdog where clients have had some awful experiences with these types. Some win back money and take months to actually give it to you, some want 25% plus VAT, which is 20%. So that’s a whopping 45%, nearly half of what’s owed to you for filling out a couple of forms and writing a couple of letters, which is basically what I did. Some of the banks are dragging their feet like Santander and Barclays, but I’ll wear them down in the end, I’ve got the patience. I think they’re hoping I’ll disappear as you can imagine they’re reluctant to pay out any money they might owe. And being a longtime customer you can just imagine what they do owe my mum. They’re probably peeing their pants at the prospect of having to pay out.
Santander have turned down her claim and Barclay’s bank say they can’t find her details, despite being a customer with them since before I was born. Next stop, the Financial Services Authority – telling me that they will no longer respond to my letters does nothing to deter me from getting back what’s rightfully my mother’s money, which they only had in the first place out of sheer underhandedness as the courts have ruled. It doesn’t eat into their profits as all the banks combined have put aside around £8 billion, that’s right, you heard me, £8 billion for anticipated payouts. The only company to put their hands up and admit liability so far has been Marks & Spencer Money. When you have a moment and before you do put pen to paper, have a read of the forum on moneysavingexpert.com and read all the success stories from people who’ve made claims and got their money back. Mine came just in time for Christmas.