Kinky La Rue

I just wanted to mark the occassion, in my own way, of 20 years since the release of Nelson Mandela. I still remember the day.

91 years young and still sharp as a tack.

Because there are some odd things happening in the news these past few days.

Earlier on in the week I read about the person who was fired from their job at McDonald’s somewhere in Holland, for giving their colleague an extra slice of cheese in their hamburger. Thank god the courts saw sense.

Then this morning I read about the driver in Scotland who was given a £60 fine, for blowing his nose in his car, while it was at a standstill. The copper who issued the ticket had previously ticketed somebody else for littering, because they dropped a tenner. Anally retentive or what?

Or what about the shopper who’s now banned from Tesco’s in Wales because she wore her pajamas to the store to pick up some cigarettes? I have to admit that although I haven’t worn pjs as such, I have worn to Tesco’s a tatty old pair of sweatpants that I wear at bedtime. Because they look like old sweatpants, nobody bats an eyelid. Saying that, I have popped into my local Tesco’s wearing my slippers, just because I couldn’t be arsed to change into my shoes. Admittedly they were weren’t of the fluffy variety, they’re the suede man slippers that I bought in Marks and Spencer’s years ago.

Some people need to lighten up just a touch.

I can’t let the week pass without mentioning what’s been in the headlines all week, MPs and their expenses. I can’t help but have a giggle at their expense. The government and the two major parties must’ve been squirming in their comfy pads and second homes this past week as revelation after revelation of what they claimed for expenses (read taxpayers money); from a lemon, yes, a lemon, to a claim for £13,000 for a mortgage that no longer exists. To be fair to the Labour  MP that claimed for the latter, it was all a big mistake and it’s been given back. Not enough Gordon says, as he’s now been given the boot. As have a few others, not just in the Labour Party but the Conservatives have done their fair share of axe-weilding too.

Too little too late I would imagine, as the public has lost faith in these parliamentarians. And what with the European Elections coming up on June 4th, I predict an apathy in the voting and I won’t be suprised if there’s a low turnout that day. Nor should the government.

“Very clever, Mr. Rose,” said in my best Dr. No voice.

Big Boob Bra

Marks and Spencer, one of the biggest and well-loved retailers in the UK if you’re outside of it, has agreed to do away with the surcharge on bigger bras over a DD cup, which would benefit me as I’m a G cup and I buy quite a few of their bras. There’s been a massive hue and cry, with people (mainly women over a certain bra size) protesting how unfair it is to charge us fuller-figured women £2 more for bras, which, apart from the size, is essentially the same. It’s been all over the news this morning and Marks have actually taken out a full-paged ad apologising by saying “we’ve boobed.”

Not that I’m a cynic mind, but methinks this has turned into a very clever piece of marketing strategy on their part. Now as a goodwill gesture, Marks and Spencer is offering 25% off of their bras, in any size, until May 25th, which, I’m sure with countless other women, I’ll be taking advantage before then.

Although I understand their reasoning for charging more for bigger bras, I feel it’s inconsistent with the selling of their other products. The reason is, to make bigger bras take more material. Fair enough, then that same rule should apply to the stockings that I buy from them. I get Ex-Large, to accomodate both my height and the size of my thighs, but they cost the same as a Small. Knickers come in varying sizes, why isn’t there a surchage on the bigger sizes? What about mens socks? And so on…..! Do you see my point?

But the genuis that is (chairman) Stuart Rose has found a way to turn a negative into a positive. And now not only will sales increase in ladies underwear, everybody loves M&S again.

Very clever, indeed.

Man shoots his wife accidently in the foot.

It gives me an idea. Next time we go for a ramble, I’ll take my partner out into the woods, shoot him in the foot and swear blind it was an accident and that it was nothing to do with the fact that he forgot to buy me flowers for St. Valentine’s Day.

Headline taken from the BBC London website this morning: Naked Ramblers told to cover up.

A 13yr old boy made headlines this past Friday for having a baby with a 15yr old girl, Chantelle. You want to know what the funniest thing is? His voice hasn’t even broken yet. Actually, the funniest thing is the poor looks about 8 and is only about 4ft tall.

Well, not funny really. Just very sad. Britain is said to have the unenviable accolade of having the highest teen pregancy rate in Europe. I’d love to know where it is we’re going wrong as a nation that other European countries are doing right (or better), and if there’s no way of adopting some of their practices. Does anybody remember the 12yr old girl who gave birth back in 2000?

13 yr old Alfie has no financial means of looking after the baby, neither does both sets of parents as they’re claiming benefits. Although to be fair, Chantelle’s dad is a fisherman, but work is scarce.  Alfie’s mother is seperated from his dad, who has nine other kids, including 3 stepchildren, from various other women. Btw, when Alfie was asked how he was going to cope financially, he asked “what does ‘financially’ mean? What a sad state of affairs.

The Basingstoke (Hampshire) Fire Brigade were called to rescue an iguana stuck up a tree. But when firefighters got up to about 25ft, they realised that the ‘iguana’ was actually….a branch. “The branch bore a striking resemblance to an iguana when seen from the ground” said a spokesman.

“When they got nearer they could see it was just a branch dangling in the wind.” Bless.