Tomorrow morning (Saturday) I have a booking between 11.30am-12.30pm. If you’re in the Belgrave/Victoria area say around 1pm, why not drop by for a visit? Obviously it would be good if you could give me some notice so I can make the necessary arrangements, so a call before my 11.30 booking would be ideal. As always shorter sessions available for those who can’t manage the full hour for whatever reason.

If not this weekend, remember I’ll be in the Bayswater (W2) area next weekend from Friday 26th to Monday morning 29th pretending that my birthday lasts for 72hrs,lol. It looks like the afternoon of the 26th is pretty much booked up, but you’ve still got Friday night from 8pm and the rest of the weekend, or give us a bell in case I have any cancellations. I might even be up for an early morning session on the Monday morning if you’re game, maybe a quick dalliance before work? Not too ungodly an hour though,lol.

Give me a bell – *07900 848567*. Would love to shag have you.

I’ve had the same “reasons” why I’m asked for details over the phone. I’ve had:

.My computer froze, can you give me some more details please?

.My internet threw me off, can I have some more details please?

.I only had time to scribble down your number, can I have some details please?

.I was enthralled by your beauty and forgot to read the rest of your site, can I have some more details please?

And my most favouritist one: a friend recommended you to me. He just gave me your number. Can I have some more details please?

I think the problem with me is that when I first started out, I used to advertise out of the back of the local papers and it was a very common thing to ask when first making that initial enquiry. I didn’t mind it so much at first because I didn’t have a website and all the caller had to rely on was a few lines of text in the paper.

But when I have a website with pictures, text, prices, location, a mention of services, even reviews, I admit I do sigh inwardly with frustration when I get a phone call asking me for details. I now react to that phrase like nails down a blackboard. But what else is there to ask? I do try and accommdate them, I really do. But funnily enough, those that ask, “can I have some details please”, or variations thereof, never make a booking with me. Never.

The gentlemen that do make a booking have already read my site, seen the pictures and in some cases, taken the time to read my reviews so they have an idea of what I like to provide.

A variation of this is a phone call I had yesterday. A chap called from Ireland and said he was thinking of coming over to London for a visit. He asked me the price of an overnight booking. I told him. Fine, he says. And then it came: What does an overnight booking entail? Can you give me some details on that please.

The thing is, it’s a difficult question to answer. No two gents are alike and each booking is tailor-made for each gentleman. You all have different tastes and predilicitons for certain things. I never assume you all want the same thing. It’d be crazy to. Do you know how many different services there are out there? And how many variations of said services?

The gentleman then asked me a few more questions, most of which I replied that it depended on my client how I performed a certain service. It sounded a little flip when thinking back on it, but it is the truth. There’s no point in asking me what an appointment entails, or how do I facesit a customer, or how best do I perform oral sex when this is such a bespoke job. No two bookings are ever the same.

So gentlemen, when making that first call to your favourite lady, please don’t ask a) “can I have some more details please” without first reading the website properly and 2) “can you tell me what a booking/overnight might entail please”. The sad thing is that you’re immediately considered a timewaster who would really like to play with his “tugboat”.

I’m going to go and have some fudge, might put me in a more jovial mood.