Kinky La Rue

Because I’ve just had an appointment cancel for tomorrow at 12pm and I was quite looking forward to it. I’m in the mood for nookie on Saturday.

So if you’re not doing anything and you think you may be in the Victoria/Belgrave area tomorrow, say, up until around 5pm, drop me a quick line or give me a call. It’s the London Marathon on Sunday. You can do a few laps around the bed with me and call that your contribution.

Horizontal Marathon anyone?

Ever heard that saying?

In my case it wasn’t so much the freaks coming out at night, more like the timewasters coming out with the sun. Amongst my morning booking with one of my most favouritist clients this morning, I had a slew of enquires today, which is fine. It’s the timewasters that always frustrate me. It is something you get used to after 7 years in the job, but the “address collectors” are always somewhat of a concern.

Yep, we have in this industry, a name for guys, who for some strange reason only beknownst to them, accumulate escorts’ incall addresses. They’re the aforementioned “address collectors”.

By this I mean they call to make an appointment, with no intention of keeping it, but want the address upfront. Now, first let me state that there are some gents who don’t indulge in this hobby too often, so don’t realise the protocol of not asking for the address upfront. Those guys you can usually tell.

But take today’s phone call for example. He’d called for a booking this morning around 9, I told him that I had an 11-12.30pm and that I’d be free after that. He said he would like an appointment from 1pm onwards for two hours. I said yes, that’ll be fine.

He then went on to say that he didn’t have my website to hand at the moment as he had to get off the computer quickly and didn’t have a chance to write it down, but can I please give him the address of my flat. Now anybody that reads my website knows that, apart from my location, my incall address is nowhere to be seen on it. Don’t you think that would be a bit of an irresponsible, not to mention foolhardy thing to do, post the address of my flat on the world wide web for everybody to see? And did the bloke not think that I know exactly what’s on my website? Who does he think wrote it?

Anyway, when I told the caller that I don’t give out the address until the customer’s actually at Victoria Stn., he then said he’d call me back by 11am (just before my first client turned up) to reconfirm. Unsuprisingly he didn’t.

This isn’t the first time this sort of thing has happened, it’s disconcertingly quite common. Newbie escorts have been caught out a few times in giving their full address to a person over the phone, only for the client never to show. Luckily I don’t live where I work, but my landlady is also a friend, and I’m protective as I can be to an extent when handing out her address.

But other ladies do work where they live, and we as a collective always have to be careful who we give our address out to. I tell any lady who asks that they should try and get their client to a landmark near their home (in my case Victoria Stn., you can’t miss it) then direct them in from there. I know it all sounds a bit cloak and dagger, but as you can appreciate it can sometimes be a dangerous job. For all the wonderful customers we meet, there’s always that few that we unfortunately we have to be wary of. Shame.