Didn’t I tell you that a packet of Thornton’s Fudge would get you great sex?
And many thanks for the offer of finding any old CJ Samson novels for me. I haven’t gotten around to buying any yet, as I’ve just purchased the latest Tess Gerritsen novel I mentioned in a previous blog. So whatever you get will be much appreciated.
Big smooch.x
….of blogging that is.
Fellow BBW Escort Melody has listened to some of my chatter and started her own blog. And it’s about time too. She’s an hilarious woman and it’s something she should’ve started a long time ago.
Some of you might remember her as our maid and the woman who kept us in stitches during our two day party-fest back in December last year. I call her the female Brian Blessed. Not because she’s the lady from the zoo with the beard. No, it’s because she has a lovely voice which, shall we say, projects very well. I reckon she’d be a great school teacher. She’d frighten the kids into submission, and I mean the 15yr olds. Either that or she should do telly/radio voice-overs.
Anyway, she has a great wit, not to mention a wicked sense of humour. I’m sure she’ll have you in stitches with her musings. I’ve added her to my blogroll. But in case you’ve missed it, here it is.
She is one funny lady.
I did a bit more ruminating over the weekend and I put up an announcement on the main page of my site yesterday.
Although there really wasn’t much to think about. If successful I get good company and extra spending money for LA. You get a big, tall, gorgeous Black Goddess either for dinner or an overnight at a much cheaper than normal rate. Or, to quote the department store I used to work for many moons ago, “We don’t use the word ‘cheap’ here. We say ‘less expensive’, or ‘more reasonably-priced’”,lol. So either way, you get me at a “less-expensive-more-reasonably-priced” rate for the evening of the 7th April. And remember, you don’t have to fork out for a hotel.
So, for my overnight at Heathrow I’m offering £500, normal price £700. Or if you really don’t want to catch my morning breath (I smell like roses, honestly), my dinner date will set you back £300 for two hours private time and two hours at dinner. Usual rate is £400.
As I stated in my last entry on the 18th though, there will be certain conditions:
1. For either the dinner date or the overnight you will have to pay for your own parking if you’re driving to Heathrow.
2. For the overnight dinner is still on you.
And, I’ve thought about this one over the weekend:
3. Also for the overnight I’d have to kick you out of bed pretty early in the morning, obviously so I can get up and get ready for my flight. I’m thinking around 6am. But saying that, I’m not averse to a bit of ‘how’s your father’ early in the morning, to send me on my way. Morning breath et al.
I hope it doesn’t sound too regimented. But I thought it might help if those that might be interested know what’s what and don’t have any suprises on the day (or in the morning).
Otherwise it’s business as normal. May I stress that it’s a one-off opportunity which won’t be repeated. So gents, please don’t ask me for this special rate at any other time. Or ask me if I’m willing to give a discount on any other service on the day. You won’t get p****d off when I say no, and I won’t have to get mad and threaten you with a spanking for asking.
Please do feel free to either drop me a line or give me a call at the usual number.
A transvestite coming into my local nail salon for a manicure. Proper false nails and everything.
At first I thought she was just a miserable-looking woman. The staff there are very cheery people and they always have a hearty hello for anybody that walks through the door. And when I didn’t see this woman reciprocate, I thought “how rude”. She made no eye contact with anybody and spoke in a really low voice when spoken to.
And then I looked closer, (without looking too obvious, I think) and I saw the wig. And then I saw the rest of the outfit, the hands, the stature and size of the woman and it dawned on me that she was a transvestite. She probably didn’t want to speak too loud to give away too much of her voice.
Then I thought, cool. A transvestite getting her nails done in my salon. Although I’ve been going on and off for years and couldn’t understand why it was only the first time I’ve seen her. In the salon or about town. Or maybe I have seen in her in regular clothes and I haven’t recognised her. Who knows?
As I said, that was cool to see, it’s not something I see too often in my quiet town. As long as she didn’t have better legs than me. I hate when that happens.
Yes, I do have those moments,lol.
I’m going to spending the night before my flight to LA at Heathrow. I don’t know about you but I always feel better spending the night before a long flight at an airport hotel and being more rested than getting up 6am and facing the daunting prospect of having to travel at that time of the morning to the airport, then having to endure an 11 hour flight. One of the inner circles of hell in Dante’s Inferno in my opinion. I’ve done it before and no, it wasn’t good.
I digress. Two years ago when I went to New York I did the same thing, and I was lucky enough to have a dinner date the night before, which was brilliant as it was in good company and also gave me a bit more shopping money.
Although I didn’t advertise it as such then, I’m thinking of doing the same thing but with an incentive:
With the current financial climate in mind, I was thinking of offering a hugely discounted overnight (with certain conditions), or a discount on a dinner date (not as substantial obviously).
My overnights rates are normally £700. In this case I was thinking of offering an overnight for a rate of £500. My conditions would be that dinner would still be on you obviously and you pay for your own parking if driving to Heathrow. But think about it, you don’t have to fork out for a hotel room as it’s already been booked and paid for. It’s a lovely 4* hotel I might add. Or…..
My dinner rates are normally £400. In this case I’d knock it down to say £300. You would still get the same two hour private time plus two hours at dinner. And there’s a lovely restaurant at the hotel I’m staying at so we wouldn’t have far to look for somewhere to eat. When you think that my usual two hour rate is £250 I reckon you’d have yourself a bargain there.
What do you reckon? Tempting? As I said, not only would you get a huge discount on either service, the hotel room is already paid for by me. And what I’d get out of it is (hopefully) great company the night before my flight, and more spending money for shopping in LA. It’s a win-win situation don’t you think?
I would stress though, that this would be a one-off offer, never to be repeated. I’m basically taking advantage of having a hotel room at my disposal for the night.
I’m going to have a bit more of a think about it today and maybe start advertising it. It wouldn’t be until the 7th April, but it would give those interested an opportunity to save.
Yeah, I reckon I’ll go for it.
On my way home from work yesterday a lady sat opposite me and took out Ken Follet’s Pillars of the Earth, the prequel to what I’m reading now, World Without End. I couldn’t help but mention it and we had a giggle.
She’d not long started Pillars and I told her she was in for a treat. She said that if I was interested in this type of genre then she could recommend an author by the name of C J Sansom. I must admit that I had heard of the author but other than that, I had no interest in his books. But it was lovely that a couple of strangers could have a conversation about something they had in common, books. It made for a pleasant journey home.
Today I’ve been having a peek around on Play.com (cheaper than Amazon and delivery is free, no set limits) to see who and what this C J Samson was all about. I must say his books do sound intriguing. Murder, mayhem and mutilation in the times of King Henry VIII. Sounds right up my street. I might just give him a go. Or her, I’m still unsure at this moment if C J Samson is a man or a woman. It’ll be my task this week to find out more about this author.
Meanwhile I was absolutely gutted to read that I missed a book tour by one of my favourite authors last week. Tess Gerritson had a UK which tour which included a stop at Borders in Charing Cross Rd in Central London, which I could’ve easily attended after seeing my client last Thursday. It was only when I went to look at her site to find out when her latest novel was to be released did I read about it. She had had the tour to promote said new book Keeping The Dead, which I’m chomping at the bits to buy.
I’m not a happy bunny. Lord knows when an opportunity like that will come around again. Absolutely gutted.
…solely because of the fact that he bought me not one, but two bags of fudge. He wasn’t sure which one to get (he’d just seen it mentioned in one of my previous entries) so he bought me two different flavours.
Well, I can well and truly say that the first packet has almost been annihilated. The other packet I’m saving for this weekend. I have no idea why, it’s just one of those lovely treats that’s to be savoured at the weekend. I still thought yesterday was Sunday. That’s my excuse for eating the first packet and I’ll stick to it.
Thank you P. I hope you’re not too sore this morning. I had P in a bit of a leg-lock yesterday. He could just about breathe, let alone try and prise himself from between my thighs. He did plead to be let go. Oh boy did he plead. It was actually the most eloquent begging I’ve ever heard from a client. Did it do him any good? Did it heck! Shame you didn’t have any olive oil to hand, eh P, *wink*. You could’ve slid your way out of trouble.
For those who aren’t averse to a bit of bribery (ooh, and a big thank you to that tall gorgeous 25yr old with the big bribe for getting me out on a Sunday), this is my current weakness:
This will get you mind-blowing sex.
A 13yr old boy made headlines this past Friday for having a baby with a 15yr old girl, Chantelle. You want to know what the funniest thing is? His voice hasn’t even broken yet. Actually, the funniest thing is the poor looks about 8 and is only about 4ft tall.
Well, not funny really. Just very sad. Britain is said to have the unenviable accolade of having the highest teen pregancy rate in Europe. I’d love to know where it is we’re going wrong as a nation that other European countries are doing right (or better), and if there’s no way of adopting some of their practices. Does anybody remember the 12yr old girl who gave birth back in 2000?
13 yr old Alfie has no financial means of looking after the baby, neither does both sets of parents as they’re claiming benefits. Although to be fair, Chantelle’s dad is a fisherman, but work is scarce. Alfie’s mother is seperated from his dad, who has nine other kids, including 3 stepchildren, from various other women. Btw, when Alfie was asked how he was going to cope financially, he asked “what does ‘financially’ mean? What a sad state of affairs.
I know I spoke this week about a couple of wonderful bookings I had. You know what they say about taking the rough with the smooth. I received this email last night:
” is that your real photo if it is reply to me and r u based in victoria station in central london and r you a real women or a transvestite”
And a phone call I took earlier this week:
Gentleman:”…..Who does the facesitting, you on me or me on you?”
Me: “It would be me. It’s not something I’d allow.”
Gentleman: “I want to put my bum-hole over your nostrils so you can’t breathe and…..”
I didn’t hear the rest as I’d hung up by then. Then he had the temerity to try and call back!
Charming, eh?!