I’ll be going away on holiday from the 17th October, coming back on the 26th. Back to work on the 27th, jetlag permitting. I’ll be staying at a 4* hotel on the Bath Road the day before on the 16th (Thursday), the main road adjacent to Heathrow Airport. Check in time from around 3pm. If [...]
“An elephant was walking along in his usual habitat when he sees a naked man coming towards him. The elephant looks at the naked man and says “Blimey, how the hell can you breathe through that?””
I bet that got your attention, didn’t it? No, sorry to disappoint. But I’m not about to partake in an orgy. This was the song that 66yr old Betty Bryce sang in The X-Factor last weekend. If you’re British then you’ll know what the X-Factor is. To my illustrious American friends, think American Idol, but [...]
The Basingstoke (Hampshire) Fire Brigade were called to rescue an iguana stuck up a tree. But when firefighters got up to about 25ft, they realised that the ‘iguana’ was actually….a branch. “The branch bore a striking resemblance to an iguana when seen from the ground” said a spokesman. “When they got nearer they could see [...]
I was amazed at myself at the amount of lies that spewed forth from my mouth last Thursday and Friday during my jaunt to Dover to have my dinner duo with Sarah-Jane. But after so long in this job, I guess I kind of gotten used to it. There’s no choice really. In the taxi [...]
If you’ve read the blurb on the front of my website, you will know that I have referred to my arse as it having its own postcode. Well, my lovely client from today Mr. “Gordon Bennet”;-) has come up with one. He said it should be AR5E 1GT. What do you think? My arse officially [...]
Jennifer Ellison (apparently she was in the West End musical Chicago) was this week voted Rear of The Year. I’m unsure what the criteria is to be considered in the running for Rear of the Year. But I do know you can’t be anything above a certain weight. A few years ago, then 16 year-old [...]
Well, Dover is definitely on and I will be staying overnight from the 18th-19th Sept. I have a 4 hour booking with my partner in crime Sarah Jane from 6.30-10.30pm on the 18th. I’ll be coming down to Dover from about 3pm onwards. If you feel you’re at a loose end and you want to [...]
I’m in the middle of making a booking with a customer down near Dover for next Thursday 18th. It’ll be a long (and late) one so I was thinking about making a whole day and night of it and going home the next morning. If you’ve always wanted a piece of my ample booty but [...]
Posted with kind permission from client. Yesterday (Saturday) I had the aforementioned booking at my usual base at Victoria. He sounded lovely on the phone and I was looking foward to it. Imagine my suprise (and slight horror) when I opened the door, and this gorgeous young man came in. My first reaction was “Oh [...]